The Awesome Office

I know you can tell by the title of this post, that sh*ts gonna get deep in the hizzy. You’re absolutely correct in your assumption. I’m going to drop some personal philosophy on you that may be complete and utter bullsh*t, or it may be the key to life. I’m guessing that since this post has already used the “sh, asterisk, t” word twice, that it’s probably going to be the former.

You know, I’ve been going through some stuff lately that would have made me super blubbery a few months ago. Really, Past Corinne would have been hysterical and gaspy and snotty right now.

As a big believer in the truth, it’s hard for me to deal with reality when someone I love lies to me. It’s even more difficult when it’s all wrapped in drama and delivered to my front door like something awesome that I ordered on Amazon weeks ago, but completely forgot about. But this is definitely not a forgotten package from Amazon. This is sh*t (there she goes again).You know, I like to trust. It’s kinda my thing. I honestly have faith in honesty and the good of humanity. I’m a friggin’ hippie, not a CIA agent. I don’t want to walk around like a human lie detector test.

I don’t mean to be vague about the situation that just passed a few hours ago, but I really don’t want to put any negative energy into it. So I’m going to let you know what I do when stuff like this happens.  Then you can follow along in your book (does that reference make sense?).

Okay, so here’s what you do every day in preparation for sh*tty stuff to go down. Spend every moment in complete and utter awe. If you have a hard time doing this, realize that we live in an awesome time. Here’s a clip to remind you of how amazing the world is right now, just in case you forgot…

Just think about how amazing every little thing is in the entire world. From the guy popping a wheelie on his bike to the idea of electricity. I’m serious. Every little thing. Just take some time whenever you’re bored to think about how fundimentally amazing electricity is, and wifi and puppy dog eyes and mangoes and coffee and the way a crisp cold morning can wake you up.

If you can get used to this, you can successfully deal with everything negative that graces your life. Just focus on the awe. Even if your life isn’t personally the most amazing thing at this very moment, you can find something to find wonder in.

And that’s the secret. That’s part of the secret, at least. It’s what’s letting me celebrate this moment and everything that led up to it. No ill will to the liar. No harm done. No negativity manifested. Booyah!

Come one, come all… Oh, you’re already here?

Okay…. Uh. I wasn’t really expecting company this late. No, no. Don’t worry about it. What a nice set of wings you’ve got there. No, dude. You’re not imposing. It’s cool. Did you say that you’re Pete’s friend? Any friend of Pete’s is a… Wait. Who the eff is Pete? You’re not a cop, are you? You know, I know my rights. I know that if you’re a police officer, you have to tell me. How do I know that? It was in a Jay Z song…

Oh well. Stay one, stay all!

So, you’re at a very special place in your life right now. What? You didn’t know that at this moment, looking at this blog was going to change the rest of your life? Oh man. This moment is your life.

Shoot. Before I scare you away with all my hippieness, I’d like to welcome you to the new and improved Friggin’ Hippie! Old friends, welcome back! New friends, bahahahhahahah (evil laugh) you’re trapped here forever! This blog is like Tron Legacy. Okay, I don’t remember that movie. I’ve seen bits and pieces. The CGI Jeff Briges was too much for me to swallow. At any rate, you’re trapped here for eternity. And I’ve got disc golf discs with glow sticks taped to them and you have to play with me and call me TRON.  For. ev. er.

I scored this domain second hand because I was having technical difficulties with the old site. It doesn’t quite make sense, but hey, I recycle. Maybe I should start off every blog post with a contemporary greeting. How about:

• What a nice set of wings you’ve got there!
• That’s a really cool Ipad2!
• Hello from the day that Kim Jung-Il died! Oh, you didn’t know? Sorry to break the news. I heard about it on twitter. Isn’t that crazy that I got breaking news from twitter? What a contemporary world we live in contemporarily.
• Buenas 99 percenter!

Get it? All of those things are relatively contemporary and they’re all kinda greetings. Okay! Well, welcome. I need to hit the hay! This week I’m going to tell you all about Panama. Are you jazzed? Sure you are.